What a Beautiful Life

So why now? Why share this for everyone to see? This is something that has always embarrassed me. If people know how my mom is then they'll probably think I'm a little coo-coo myself. People will feel sorry for me. People won't know what to say. People will give me their "2 cents". I don't love any of those reactions. 

This past year has been a gigantic eye opener. You see, I have gotten to know a small group of youth. When I say small, I mean SMALL. My heart was shattered when I found out that several of these kids are struggling with the same situation I grew up with. I have shed many tears for these precious babies. I want to save them. I want them to know what I see when I look into their eyes. They are beautiful. This does not define who they are or what they can become.

I have wondered why I was dealt this hand. I have looked at other mother's and wished my mom was like them. I would love my son to have the grandma I know my mom is capable of being. And now, I wouldn't trade my life experiences with anyone. It is so clear. I have to share my story. I have to help others.

I love life. I love friends. I love family. I love God. Life is beautiful.

My slice of heaven

 







   

The Mother's Day obligatory phone call

Well, I did it. I called my mom today to wish her a Happy Mother's Day. Phone calls to my mom aren't easy. I never know which mom I'm going to get and honestly, they all frustrate me.

Sometimes she's angry at the world. You see, everyone in her life has done her wrong and that makes her see red. Even I had the nerve to grow up and leave the house! Can you even imagine? HA! She really has said that to me... a lot!

And then there's the mom that doesn't really know she's on the phone. She doesn't know much of anything. She stumbles over her words and the next day has no memory of us ever talking. Just a few weeks ago she called me with her feelings hurt because we hadn't talked in a week. I just giggled and reminded her of our conversation the day before.

Today when I called I got the sobbing mom. She cried and cried. She said it was because her foot hurts and she is in so much pain. If that is true I feel sorry..........

MY MOM JUST CALLED ME AND ASKED FOR TINA! JUST NOW! Who the heck is Tina?! 

Back to my moms foot... Long story short there is always SOMETHING wrong with my mom. I'm pretty sure she is just fishing for pain pills. 

This has been a long and bumpy road. Sometimes I want to take the first exit and never look back. I could never really do that. She is my mom. I love her. I hate her. I have compassion for her. I have bitterness towards her. I never want to speak to her again. I call her the next day.

I love this picture

 

   

Happy Mother's Day

This is new to me.

 I don't know if I'm doing this blog thing right but I'll figure it out.

I want to blog! I have things to say, I think you'll find them fascinating.

 Well, not fascinating but definitely interesting.

 I hope I can touch one person with my story.

 A story of addiction and mental illness.

 I am the daughter of a mentally ill and very drug addicted mother.

 This Mother's Day I am celebrating the person I know is inside my mom. 

 I am excited to share my story with you.

 The good, the bad, the ugly.

My beautiful mother